Robo Rap Battle, Part Deux: Electric Boogaloo
by Sir Perfluous
Summary: The evil Pumpkin Rapper is back and he wants to drop his new mix tape... and probably ruin Thanksgiving too. Only one rapping robot can save the day armed with his sick rhymes and a thermonuclear pie.


**Disclaimer: It's a good thing I don't own Power Rangers... after reading this fic, you'll probably understand why.  
**

* * *

It was the day before Thanksgiving and the Megaforce Power Rangers went to the mall. They had gathered in Ernie's Brain Freeze to have a Friendsgiving dinner and they were all looking forward to it. Now logic would dictate that having a Thanksgiving dinner at such a place would not only be incredibly tacky, but also impossible given the fact that Ernie's was a Fro-Yo bar and wouldn't have the means to make such a meal anyway, but whatever...

When they reached the Brain Freeze, they were joined by Robo Knight who had also been invited. He waited on a bar stool while Emma finished cleaning up behind the counter. She was dressed like Chef Boyardee and gave a cheerful wave to greet the Rangers, "Hi guys! You're just in time. I'll be pulling the Turducken out of the oven soon along with my new and improved pumpkin pie!"

"Uh Em? You remember what happened last year when you tried to make that dessert on Halloween, right?" Troy asked hesitantly, "It went up like the Hindenburg."

"Not to worry," she said as she walked back into the kitchen, "This year I cooked the pie twice as long and on super high heat so it will be really really really well done. I got the suggestion from the cookbook of the great Mia Watanabe."

The others exchanged an uncomfortable look while Robo Knight scratched his head, "I don't understand. I guess I just had to be there."

Gia sat down and took Robo Knight's arm, "Well... just be sure you're going to be at my house for dinner tomorrow night. My parents want to meet you but still don't seem to understand that it's 2018. What's the big deal if a girl wants to date a robot anyway, right?"

Jake gave a sour look but Noah patted his friend's shoulder, "Hey don't worry man. Maybe you can try and challenge Robo Knight to a rap battle again."

"Don't remind me," Jake muttered remembering the last time he called out Robo Knight for a Christmas freestyle battle.

"Oooh Yeeeeeah! I'm back in the saddle and if you can't tell, I want a Rap Battle!" came a new voice as an orange pumpkin-headed monster from the MMPR era burst straight through the glass doors like the Kool Aid Man. All the other customers in the Brain Freeze jumped in surprise as Troy called out.

"Who are you?"

"The name's Pumpkin Rapper I got somethin' to the say. I'm calling out the Robo Knight here, okay?"

Robo Knight stood up and faced the monster. He began to reach for his blaster, but Pumpkin Rapper shook his head, "No no no, that's not how we'll play. We're going to settle this the old fashioned way."

Robo Knight rolled up his sleeves and gave a signal to his little homey Todd who just so happened to be in the corner of the Fro-Yo bar and operating two turntables and a microphone. Robo Knight took the mic as a phat beat began to play and he danced to it.

"Yo! I'm not going to let you ruin Thanksgiving you jive turkey! Check it!"

 **I'm a super mega Robo Knight riding high.**  
 **I'm gonna mash you up turn you into pumpkin pie.**  
 **You're a big orange phony, all weak and boney,**  
 **Your rhymes are trash and you're full of baloney.**

 **I think you'd better quit, cause you can't match my sound,**  
 **And I'll put you back six feet under the ground.**

* * *

 **(Pumpkin Rapper)**

 **You're talkin' tough for a toaster but you've gotta be lying,**  
 **Since it seems like the only thing you're good at is dying.**  
 **I'll crush you like a Coke can, melt you down to glass,**  
 **Throw what's left in the compactor and recycle your ass.**

 **You're a Robo-Cop ripoff that Saban tried rebooting,**  
 **You're a troll farm Russian bot of Vladimir Putin.**  
 **You think you're some Crusader. You're a guy without a cause.**  
 **You're a bargain basement Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz.**

* * *

 **(Robo Knight)**

 **Yo, last time I checked see it's not Halloween,  
And you're still the biggest piece of squash that I've ever seen.  
You're in my hood now, you want a trick or a treat?  
Cause the only thing I'm handing out to you is defeat.**

 **You've got a big round head, orange skin like Trump,  
I'm gonna rip you a new one, throw you back in the dump.  
Bro you smell as bad as Ninja Steel, putrid and farty,  
Cause you're rotten to the core just like the Democratic Party.**

 **Now you're gonna get toasted- grinded up and roasted- put in the earth so you can get composted.  
Don't be frontin' son cause you can't check my flow, running cool smooth and clean like an Ernie Fro-Yo.**

 **Time's up Pumpkin Man your holiday's past,  
Cause your wack-o-lantern jack-o-lantern's bout to get smashed!**

* * *

When Pumpkin Rapper heard the crowd cheering louder for Robo Knight, he knew that he lost the rap battle. He stomped his feet and prepared to attack for real, "If I could, you know I'd frown. I'm done with this party time to bring the house down!"

Just before Pumpkin Rapper could shoot his electrical vine attack on the civilians, Emma came out of the kitchen carrying her steaming hot pumpkin pie. Robo Knight grabbed the pie and yanked it away.

"Careful Robo Knight! The pie is hot!" she cried, forgetting that he was a robot and had no pain receptors.

"Time to go out with a bang!"

He grabbed hold of Gia and flung the pie at Pumpkin Rapper causing everyone in the Brain Freeze to panic. The robot fired his rocket boots and blasted clear through the ceiling with Gia. Ernie shook his fist in fury knowing his insurance premiums would go up yet again, "Damn you Robo Knight! Nooooo!"

"Nooooo!" Pumpkin Rapper screamed as the pie made of pumpkins hurtled through the air in slow motion toward his face.

"Nooooo!" the other Rangers yelled as they realized that Emma's super hot, hyper pressurized pie would probably go off like a low yield tactical nuke.

As Robo Knight and Gia flew away, they heard a large eruption go off in the mall as the pie exploded killing Pumpkin Rapper and blowing the Brain Freeze to smithereens with scalding hot pumpkin goo. Gia looked to Robo Knight, "What a disaster! Where are we going to go now?"

"We can still go chill in Amber Beach. My homeboy Redbot said Worg invited us all to a Thanksgiving party there."

Gia frowned slightly, "Well okay... as long as they don't have any rapping pumpkins."

"Hmm... I think they still have a giant blue turkey man. I wonder if he can rap too?"

 **End**

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 **A/N:  
My freestyling skills might not be as good as Jay-Z or Ludacris, but I still hope you got a laugh or two. After all, what better way to get into the Thanksgiving spirit than a robot having a rap battle with a pumpkin, right? :)  
**


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